In the past few weeks my mind has been wrestling over the concept of waiting.
Is there a right way to do this?
Sure, we can be in a constant state of prayer, petitioning for the Lord to give us a heart that reflects His, but how does this practically play out?
Being pregnant really does something to me. I’m waiting, yes, for my adoption process to proceed forward… but I’m also forced into a position of heavy family planning because of my growing baby bump and other private circumstances that I will reveal at a later date. Shouldn’t I be doing something? No..? Ok… sooo should I just sit on my hands and wait? No… something about that doesn’t sit right in my spirit. I KNOW that I should proactively be PURSUING something while I wait, but it’s all just a fog.
That’s when it finally clicked.
I’m living like I’m waiting for something.
Now don’t get me wrong: this concept, when applied to the right context, can be a wonderfully motivating thing. But MY issue is contentment. I need to slow down. I need to stop my mind from racing… from planning… from dreaming… from “the next step.” I feel like God has been trying to show a lot of us that we already HAVE everything we “need” in Him.
We get so wrapped up in this world that we often forget about the next one.
Unfortunately, the common theme amongst my closest friends lately is tough times. Some cases are far worse than others, but at the core are the same basic questions: If God is “the giver of all good and perfect gifts,” why is it so difficult to find those gifts when we need them most? I’ve realized that the Christian community has mistakenly sold us a solution for all of life’s problems instead of teaching us to learn how to experience them within the arms of God. Rather than praying for quick resolution, we should be praying that the days we spend walking through our trials… our times of waiting… are available for God to use to His maximum glory.
I can think back to several women in my life who have traveled the tougher road and didn’t wimp out! They were teachable. They decided to use their trials for Kingdom benefit instead of man’s, and taught people (like me) in the process. Why is it so hard for us to take even the menial, day to day circumstances and flip them into vessels of glorious purpose?
It’s time to start living like I already HAVE what we’re all ultimately searching for: the most satisfying, intimate relationship with someone who KNOWS me. The Lord understands the parts of heart that I can’t put into words. Sure, my kiddos will come- but why not savor my undistracted time with the One who sees and knows all? God has my sweet family in this season for reasons that are only understood in Heaven. And that is OK. I have allowed that knowledge to be my fulfillment. BUT the same is for you! Nothing is hidden from the Lord’s sight. If life is just downright HARD right now, God hasn’t missed it. HE KNOWS YOU. You have the unique opportunity to live with purpose… and to experience God’s love to greater depths. Now doesn’t that reflect our Lord so much more than our empty grumbling???
Sometimes we just need to get outside of ourselves. Instead of viewing God through our circumstances, we should put into practice the viewing of our circumstances through God. Our sinful hearts too easily reverse that method. We must remember that even when it feels like it, God has NOT forgotten us and has a greater plan for the issues we can only understand on a surface value.
Man… I’m so thankful God chooses to love and grow me before I become a mom. I STILL feel like SUCH a child!! If anything, I will have learned THAT much more about our Savior BECAUSE I’ve been asked to wait…. and I look forward to the privilege of sharing such lessons with each of my children one day.
“Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” Isaiah 30:18
(I know I’ve shared this song in the past… just been on my heart again lately. :))