The fierce corner of my heart

Category: FamilyLife Comments: 3 comments


Can I vent a little bit? 

I am just beyond frustrated, discouraged… just all of the above today.

I KNOW that the Lord has called us to walk this adoption journey. And I am beyond assured that this road leads to Africa. And YES, this means that one day I will have children that do not look like me

But that said, I am getting so sick and tired of hearing that the color of my children’s skin is a reason I should be hesitant to adopt at all. I can think of so many other legitimate reasons of why adoption will be challenging. But to quickly answer your question: no, I’m not naive. I know that we will have to tackle the white/black subject. BUT WHY aren’t the other issues seen as a reason of concern over ethnicity? Things like language. Malnutrition. Culture shock. Experiences that lead to orphanhood. Over and OVER again the only issue brought to my attention is that I will be a white mother with black children.

What’s the problem? Are you going to be embarrassed by your association with me? By all means, I invite you to resolve that one. And why won’t I just adopt white kids? Well… let’s just say that you are confirming once again of why they NEED to be black. I feel pretty confident to speak on behalf of Jesus here… I’m adopting black kids because “it’s time for you to deal with your sin.” 

I don’t want to hear about how you hope that I don’t raise a couple of thugs. I don’t want to hear you associating the phrase “my nigga” and my children. I don’t want to hear about the few “exceptional blacks” you knew back in the day.

So you know, I’m going to say it… if you are reading this blog and have said anything like this to me… guess what? YOU ARE A RACIST. I will love you with the love of Jesus (because trust me, in my flesh it is hard to find), but you are absolutely NOT WELCOME to speak like that around my children when they come home. To your own stroke of luck, you have a few more years to adapt your conversational abilities… but consider this a fair warning: One comment in their presence, and we will be exiting stage left. 

I say this with compassion and fierce love. I think as believers we are afraid to be confrontational. But Church, there is such a thing as fighting for justice. I will always fight for my children, just as I expect you to do one day for yours. I pity the one who is more concerned with their skin than their heart.

Most likely, my children will watch their parents’ death. They will be forced to process their loss -in addition to- transitioning to my home. These precious little lives don’t need the confusing trauma of your sinful hangups from a southern upbringing. Our Lord is disgusted by racism. So in the name of Jesus, the lover and protector of orphans, I am calling you out on your sin. 

“Do not judge by appearances, but judge by right judgement. ” John 7:24

“If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.” James 2: 8-9

“So Peter opened his mouth and said: ‘Truly I understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him.'” Acts 10:34-35

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’” 1 Samuel 16:7

3 comments to The fierce corner of my heart

  • Meredith Whitlock  says:

    Thanks for saying what needs to be said. You’ve been chosen to be the protector & mother to those who need you most. Thank you for having a yes in your heart & sharing your journey.
    Meredith Whitlock

  • brittney  says:

    This is the first thing I read and I needed to hear it! We are looking into adoption and I wondered how I would handle comments like these without losing my filter. You did a great job and I am sure I am going to write some of these verses down 🙂

  • Jeff Holbert  says:

    Y’all are awesome and truly have hearts that pursue the love and desires of God. You made me tear up as I was reading your “vent”. We love you and know that you will be awesome parents to your children. As someone who loves y’all because we have seen your hearts, so will your children and everyone you touch see your hearts…if they are are willing to look and open to accept.

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