Reality is starting to sink in, and with it comes a choice in mind-frame.
Living on a young pastor’s budget is something we are learning to adjust to, and we have been exploring all the ways we can be good stewards of our finances and many unnecessary blessings. For example, we are thinking about dropping cable for Hulu (please.. that’s still amazing) and have been learning about various programs where we qualify for extra grocery cash and medical bill coverage. It’s turning into a crazy ride of faith, that’s for sure.
Sometimes I find myself falling back into my “Bankruptcy Lawyer’s Daughter” mode and wondering how we will make all the numbers work. How can we live in one of the most expensive places in the world and STILL come up with more to respond in obedience? But what little faith we have! Just the other day Jordan was needing a mere $5 to grab lunch with some men from the church (we hadn’t grocery shopped yet), he then looked down at his feet…. and low & behold… a $5 bill was tumbling by. These are the little things that sometimes we forget to see. These are the little ways God tells us to not worry- that He WANTS to be our only sustainer.
We just get in our own way of experiencing God. I never thought that I, BRANDI- the one who always stays inside the lines, would know what it felt like to “live life on the edge.” This is going to sound so cheesy, but seriously… we serve a totally COOL God. I love that I get to see this side of Him now.
Lately I’ve had several people tell me to not feel pressured to go forward with adoption because of our circumstances… That we are doing “enough for the Kingdom.” First of all, can we ever do enough? To say that we can is to deny our need for the Messiah’s atonement. However, I do understand the heart of what these dear friends are trying to suggest: They don’t want us to feel locked into our verbal commitment when navigating life as two has proven to be somewhat difficult (financially speaking). But our God is bigger than this! Nowhere in scripture does The Lord call someone to a task and have them go into debt to achieve it. Therefore, if I am CONFIDENT that God has called us to adoption, then I can only be ASSURED of total provision towards completion.
So I ask you, will pray for us as we learn how to budget… and will you pray for us as we learn what to weed out? Also, we will need to start fundraising in the next month or two. Will you pray for the hearts that God is preparing to give? It is incredibly uncomfortable for me to ask for help. I hate it actually. But this is so much bigger than my comfort zone. I’m asking my brothers and sisters to join hands in the opportunity to show what ONLY the power of God can do.
Big steps are coming. Stay tuned.